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Hated People
Ian Wright Why we hate him: The gibberish. The unbridled Little Englander attitude. The fact he’s still employed. An idiot. Firstly, read this: "Well I think, definitely, in the second half they came out with a better attitude but I think I've seen Chelsea play a few times and they don't really play a lot more. Their tempo's not much more than they started there but they just didn't have the width. They still tried to play the ball to the strength but all the men are in that middle, so that's when they, that's where they're playing all the balls to. Now whether they're mental, I don't know what he means by that, whether they can, the intensity or what, even if they did start sharp, the men are still in the same places so they couldn't get the width. And that's what I couldn't understand." Ian Wright said that. All of that. When asked a question. It’s not an answer, it’s not a clear thought, it’s not anything that should come from the mouth of a human being that speaks English as their first language. It’s just symptomatic of the drivel that comes from this moron’s gob every time he appears on our screens, which unfortunately is very, very often. It seems the former Crystal Palace, Arsenal and West Ham striker has about four or five fans in this world since he hung up his boots. Unfortunately these four or five fans control programming at the BBC and other assorted media outlets. It was in 2002 that he got his contract with the BBC amidst a wave of publicity as the UK’s national broadcaster tried to shake off what The Guardian called its “hideously white” image. Since then he’s presented the following: ‘Friday Night’s All Wright’: An awful chat show, just think Jonathan Ross stripped of personality, wit, coherent speech and decent guests and you’re not even close. ‘Friends Like These’: He took over from Ant and Dec. They cancelled the show. Odd that. ‘The National Lottery Wright Around the World’: Never saw it, could have been excellent. There is not a shred of evidence to suggest so though, and it too disappeared from schedules early on. ‘What Kids Really Think’: Not on anymore either… perhaps there’s a pattern developing here. In fairness, it’s probably unfair to say that any of these were really his fault alone. The BBC put out plenty of failures every year and being shifted from project to project can’t of helped. But can he really excuse his behaviour during ‘Match of the Day’ appearances. His only major contribution to punditry this year was to suggest that England players should dive “because everybody else does it”. Then he bemoans Cristiano Ronaldo throughout the World Cup for doing exactly what he says his own countrymen should do. Did he want English players simply to perform more believable dives than the Manchester United winger? Even when he reneged on this theory he never mentioned (nor did his fellow pundits it should be pointed out) that his stepson Sean Wright-Philips has a penchant for going down like a sack of overly expensive and under-used spuds. He claims England are one the best teams in the world and can’t understand why they never do well at major tournaments. Why not watch the games and analyse the lack of possession and ideas? Why not question the over-reliance on a temperamental 21 year-old? Nah, stick with mumbling something in the region of: ‘It was the Swede man, I dun can’t believe we ain’t won dat game, bit o’ English passion and we’d be champions’. The horror, the horror. He is indulged greatly by all the BBC team, from Gary Lineker to Ray Stubbs, right the way down to the frighteningly shiny Gavin Peacock. The latter even, heaven help us, seems to look at Wright with admiration, as if trying to learn from the master. Scary TV altogether. Earlier this year, Wright took on a major project with Channel 4 to help the kids of the UK to get fit, hoping to replicate the success of Jamie’s School Dinners. That was the idea and a noble one at that. In practice, ‘Ian Wright’s Unfit Kids’ showed its presenter was woefully short of ideas. By the end he began to simply shout at the kids and give out to them for a lack of effort. Doing wonders for their self-confidence there Wrighty, and on national TV too. In nearly every other walk of life anyone with as many failed projects, foolish theories and general lack of skills in their field would have been fired a long time ago. Somehow he struggles on, whether because of a good agent, or TV companies still trying not to be ‘hideously white’. Wright only became a footballer in his early twenties thinking he’d missed the boat on a professional career, but he slowly grew into a top class player. He had no such problems getting into the media, but we can’t believe that his new career is going to produce many tributes when he hangs up his microphone. Not from here anyway.
JJ Worrall
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